The Glass Ball Method: How Overwhelmed Parents Can Finally Stop Dropping What Matters

Your shoulders tighten. Your jaw clenches. Your breathing becomes shallow as you glance from your laptop to your phone, where work emails pile up alongside texts from your child's teacher. The mental load weighs heavy—doctor appointments to schedule, permission slips to sign, that presentation due tomorrow, the client who needs "just one more thing." Your body is sending you signals you've learned to ignore: you are carrying too much.

But what if there was a better way?

Have you ever felt like you're juggling so many responsibilities that one wrong move will send everything crashing down? You're not alone. As working parents and caregivers, we're expected to excel professionally while raising thriving children, maintaining relationships, managing households, and somehow preserving our sanity in the process.

It's an impossible standard—yet we keep trying to meet it.

Nora Ephron once wisely said, "The key to juggling is to know that some of the balls you have in the air are made of plastic and some are made of glass."

This simple metaphor contains a profound truth that can transform your approach to the overwhelming demands of modern life. Glass balls shatter when dropped, creating consequences that can be difficult to repair. Plastic balls bounce—they can wait, be picked up later, or even roll away completely.

The secret isn't doing it all perfectly—it's knowing what you can afford to let drop.

In this guide, I'll share a framework for identifying your own glass and plastic balls, making confident decisions in the moment, and creating systems that prevent unnecessary dropping in the first place. You'll discover how to move from stretched thin to sustainable joy through time agility that works with your life, not against it.

The Reality of Modern Parenting: You're Not Failing, The System Is

Before we dive into solutions, let's acknowledge something important: if you feel overwhelmed, it's not because you're doing something wrong.

Time Confetti: As Brigid Schulte explains in her research, we're living in an age of "time confetti" where our attention is scattered into increasingly tiny fragments. Modern parents and caregivers are expected to:

• Work as though they don't have children

• Parent as though they don't work

• Maintain a picture-perfect home

• Stay physically fit and mentally well

• Be socially and community engaged

• Keep up with an endless stream of administrative tasks

All while receiving less institutional and community support than previous generations.

The problem isn't your capacity or commitment—it's that we're all being asked to do too much. Tasks expand to fill available time, and our culture consistently sends the message that "more" equals "better."

So the first step? Recognize that selective dropping isn't failure—it's a necessary skill in an unsustainable system.

The Glass Ball Framework: Deciding What Can Bounce

So how do you decide what's glass and what's plastic? Here's a framework to guide your decisions:

Step 1: Identify Your Core Values and Non-Negotiables

Your glass balls should align with your deepest values. Take a moment to consider:

• What matters most to you as a parent?

• What are your non-negotiable professional commitments?

• What do you need to maintain your health and wellbeing?

• What relationships are essential to nurture?

For me, glass balls include those precious connection points with my children: 10 minutes of focused presence when they first wake up, when they come home from school, and at bedtime. Research consistently shows that these moments of attunement build secure attachment and emotional resilience in children—a small time investment with enormous developmental returns.

Step 2: Apply the 4D Framework to Everything Else

Once you've identified your true glass balls, apply the 4D framework to everything else:

DO: Tasks that align with your values, require your unique talents, and have clear consequences if dropped.

DELAY: Tasks that need to be done but not right now. Can you batch them for a specific time? Schedule them for when you have more bandwidth?

DELEGATE: Tasks that need doing but not necessarily by you. Can someone else handle this? Consider partners, older children, family members, colleagues, or paid help if accessible.

DROP: Tasks that don't actually need doing, cause more stress than benefit, or have been imposed by external expectations rather than true needs.

In any given moment, ask yourself: "Is this a glass ball or a plastic one right now?" Remember, the answer might change depending on the situation.

Real-Life Examples of Glass vs. Plastic Balls

Parenting Context:

• Glass: Responding to a child in emotional distress

• Plastic: Finishing the laundry when everyone has clean necessities

• Glass: Creating safety during overwhelming sensory experiences

• Plastic: Having a Pinterest-worthy birthday party

Work Context:

• Glass: Meeting a client deadline you've committed to

• Plastic: Responding to every email within an hour

• Glass: Preparing thoroughly for a major presentation

• Plastic: Attending a meeting where you're not a key stakeholder

Self-Care Context:

• Glass: Taking medication as prescribed

• Plastic: Maintaining a perfect workout schedule

• Glass: Getting adequate sleep

• Plastic: Completing a 10-step skincare routine

The key is recognizing that what's glass for one person might be plastic for another—and what's glass in one situation might be plastic in another.

Prevention: Setting Up Systems So Fewer Balls Drop

The best jugglers don't just react quickly—they prevent problems before they occur. Here's how to set up preventive systems in key areas:

For Parenting Glass Balls:

Connection Systems: The 10-minute connection points mentioned earlier (morning, after school, bedtime) create a secure foundation that makes other separations less stressful. Children who feel securely attached can better handle when you need to focus elsewhere because they trust you'll return to them.

Food & Basic Needs:

• Stock healthy, accessible foods kids can prepare themselves

• Teach age-appropriate food preparation skills

• Create visual guides for snack options or meal assembly

• Set up low shelves or containers with approved options

Regulation Support:

• Learn your child's "tells" for overwhelm (flushed cheeks, rapid speech, withdrawal)

• Create calm-down corners with sensory tools

• Teach and practice co-regulation techniques when everyone is calm

• Recognize the difference between a tantrum (power struggle) and meltdown (sensory overwhelm)

For Work Glass Balls:

Strategic Preparation:

• Identify your unique contributions at work—what can ONLY you do?

• Align your focus with strategic priorities that matter to your organization

• Develop delegation plans for predictable scenarios

• Establish transparent communication about your working patterns

Time Blocking:

• Schedule deep work during your most productive hours

• Batch similar tasks to reduce context switching

• Build buffers between meetings and transitions

• Set realistic deadlines that account for life's unpredictability

For Wellbeing Glass Balls:

Contrary to popular images of bubble baths and massages (though those are lovely!), true self-care includes whatever it takes to:

• Empty your brain of inner critic and shame-fueled messages

• Build self-compassion and a secure relationship with yourself

• Maintain regulation so you can respond rather than react

This might include therapy, journaling, boundary practice, movement, or simply moments of quiet. Remember: a dysregulated parent can't help a dysregulated child—your emotional wellbeing is a glass ball that supports all others.

If you struggle with big feelings as a parent and want to build stronger emotional regulation, my ebook "A Compassionate Guide to Parents' Big Feelings" offers practical strategies.

Special Considerations for Different Life Stages

For Parents of Very Young Children:

Infants and toddlers can't understand the concept of "Mommy will focus on you later"—their brain development requires responsive care. During this stage:

• Accept that more balls will be glass than plastic

• Create tag-team approaches with partners if possible

• Focus on safe attachment transitions to other caregivers

• Simplify everywhere else—this is a season, not forever

For Neurodivergent Parents and Caregivers:

Parenting places enormous demands on executive function skills—organization, task-switching, emotional regulation, and prioritization. If you're neurodivergent (ADHD, autism, etc.), these challenges can be magnified.

Signs your system needs adjustment:

• Cognitive fog

• Frequent emotional reactivity with loved ones

• Seething resentment

• Shutdown or avoidance behaviors

These aren't moral failings—they're normal responses to "too much." A glass ball here is finding accommodations that work WITH your brain, not against it:

• External organization systems (visible reminders, timers)

• Sensory management strategies

• Energy-based scheduling rather than time-based

• Routines that reduce decision fatigue

As a coach specializing in neurodivergent parents, I've seen lives transform through tailored strategies that work with your unique brain wiring.

For Caregivers Supporting Aging Parents:

The sandwich generation faces unique challenges. Glass balls may include:

• Safety-critical medical care

• Emotional support during transitions

• Legal and financial protection

While plastic balls might be:

• Perfect holiday celebrations

• Handling every task personally instead of seeking support

• Maintaining pre-caregiving social schedules

Prevention here involves difficult but necessary conversations about care needs, boundaries, and external support options, ideally before crisis points.

Communication: How to Talk About Your Glass Balls

One of the biggest challenges in juggling is ensuring others understand your priorities. Here's how to have these conversations with key stakeholders:

With Children (Age-Appropriate):

For older children: "Sometimes I need to focus on work, and sometimes I need to focus on you. When I'm working, I'm earning money for our family and doing something important to me. When we're together, you're my focus. I promise I'll be clear about which mode I'm in."

For younger children, simple visuals can help:

• "Work hat" vs. "Parent hat" imagery

• Timer systems for transitions between roles

• Consistent language around availability

With Work:

In "sober moments" (not during crisis): "I deliver excellent results, and part of how I do that is by being clear about my capacity. Here's when you can expect my full attention, how to reach me in emergencies, and how I prioritize competing demands."

Establish:

• True emergency protocols

• Expected response times

• Coverage plans for your absence

With Partners:

"Let's get clear on which responsibilities are whose, when we need to tag each other in, and how we'll handle the unexpected. We're a team, and neither of us can do it all."

Consider:

• Regular calendar syncs

• Explicit handoff procedures

• Acknowledged strengths and preferences

Embracing Time Agility: The Long Game

The true secret of the glass ball method isn't perfect decision-making in every moment—it's developing time agility that allows you to shift focus confidently without guilt or apology.

Laura Vanderkam's research with successful professionals who are also parents reveals a powerful truth: they don't succeed by finding perfect balance each day. Instead, they take a longer view of time, making deliberate choices about what gets attention when across weeks and months.

Over time, this approach means:

• All priorities get attention, just not simultaneously

• Stakeholders learn to trust your judgment

• You build self-trust in your ability to handle complexity

• Fewer true emergencies emerge because you've prevented them

Remember that juggling is dynamic—you're constantly in motion, adjusting to keep the most important things in the air. Sometimes you'll make mistakes, drop a glass ball, or keep a plastic one in the air too long. That's not failure; it's feedback.

Conclusion: From Survival to Sustainable Joy

Most parents I work with come to me in survival mode—they're dropping balls left and right, unsure which ones actually matter, and beating themselves up about all of them.

Through applying the glass ball method, they discover something transformative: not only can they handle the truly important things, but they can do so with more presence, intention, and yes, even joy.

The path from stretched thin to sustainable joy isn't about doing more or being more—it's about choosing consciously, dropping strategically, and aligning your energy with what truly matters.

Your turn now. What glass balls are you holding? What plastic ones can you allow to bounce? And what balls can you set down entirely, freeing your hands for what brings you meaning?

Remember: in the juggling act of life, the goal isn't keeping everything in the air. It's keeping the right things in the air at the right time.

Looking for more support? Join my weekly newsletter "Experiments & Spice & Everything Nice" — link at the bottom of the page — for bite-sized strategies to move from stretched thin to sustainable joy. And if you're a neurodivergent parent at the end of your rope, let's talk about how coaching can transform your experience.

Inspired by the wisdom of: KC Davis and StruggleCare, Joe Hudson, Seth Godin, Pooja Lakshmin, Melissa Urban, Dr. Becky Kennedy, Lucy Jones and the concept of Matrescence, Martha Beck, Brigid Schulte's work on time confetti and overwhelm in "Overwhelmed: Work, Love, and Play When No One Has the Time," and Laura Vanderkam's research on time management and priorities in "168 Hours" and "I Know How She Does It."